Hi guys,
I had a couple of introspective days.
Finally had the time to focus on myself.
Guess what: I had a few sad days, BUT, the last were amazing.
I think I found a balance within the core of my soul and that works amazingly.
I can finally walk on the street and not think of anything but walking.
My head is clear.
My mind is clearer.
I live in the fucking present, and what am I doing in the present? I walk alone.
I have made so much progress in my life.
I've lost weight. I am going to tribal oriental dance classes- there are amazing and I will soon be performing on stage (yey!).
I am doing my job, I am doing my acting classes too, I am all the time on the run, not to mention I've done a kick-ass tattoo on my arm I've been wanting to do in a long time.
My life is in balance. I still care about him. But what I have learned is that HE was the one who left me so why should I keep thinking about it? I can only honor my feelings for him, with acceptance and respect on his decision. That's it.
I am moving on.
I've been asked even on a date by a great guy. I met him a while ago and he always was asking me out, but I was with someone so I was saying "No.". But this time, I have said yes.
Let's see how it goes.
Coincidence or not, yesterday night I bumped into my ex in the club.
I felt strange. But it felt good, too.
It showed me how much I missed him, but it showed me how well balanced I am now.
I was having this overwhelming feeling before, like he was on a sort of pedestal and I was down in the crowd, small and unimportant. Now I felt equality.
We spoke about quite a few things, and the one that stuck to my head is that he told me he is not ok and he tries to move on but couldn't.
That being said, it took me by surprise but I did not wanted to dig further into it. Just because I can't give everything anymore.
I need to see commitment and feel love from my partner.
I want my guy to come to me and say this :
"I don't just want your heart. I want your flesh, your skin and blood, and bones, your voice, your thoughts, your pulse, and most of all, your fingerprints everywhere".
Without it, I'd rather stay alone.
Love,
S.
I had a couple of introspective days.
Finally had the time to focus on myself.
Guess what: I had a few sad days, BUT, the last were amazing.
I think I found a balance within the core of my soul and that works amazingly.
I can finally walk on the street and not think of anything but walking.
My head is clear.
My mind is clearer.
I live in the fucking present, and what am I doing in the present? I walk alone.
I have made so much progress in my life.
I've lost weight. I am going to tribal oriental dance classes- there are amazing and I will soon be performing on stage (yey!).
I am doing my job, I am doing my acting classes too, I am all the time on the run, not to mention I've done a kick-ass tattoo on my arm I've been wanting to do in a long time.
My life is in balance. I still care about him. But what I have learned is that HE was the one who left me so why should I keep thinking about it? I can only honor my feelings for him, with acceptance and respect on his decision. That's it.
I am moving on.
I've been asked even on a date by a great guy. I met him a while ago and he always was asking me out, but I was with someone so I was saying "No.". But this time, I have said yes.
Let's see how it goes.
Coincidence or not, yesterday night I bumped into my ex in the club.
I felt strange. But it felt good, too.
It showed me how much I missed him, but it showed me how well balanced I am now.
I was having this overwhelming feeling before, like he was on a sort of pedestal and I was down in the crowd, small and unimportant. Now I felt equality.
We spoke about quite a few things, and the one that stuck to my head is that he told me he is not ok and he tries to move on but couldn't.
That being said, it took me by surprise but I did not wanted to dig further into it. Just because I can't give everything anymore.
I need to see commitment and feel love from my partner.
I want my guy to come to me and say this :
"I don't just want your heart. I want your flesh, your skin and blood, and bones, your voice, your thoughts, your pulse, and most of all, your fingerprints everywhere".
Without it, I'd rather stay alone.
Love,
S.
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